When I was 16, I used to be the most confident guy I know, used to underestimate everyone, or at least kids within my age at the time. Everything others were accomplishing were either useless or mediocre to me. There was nothing I was achieving in real life that justified my huge confidence, but there was nothing that could take it away either.
I saw myself as someone with potential, there were lots of teachers and friends that validated this feeling too. Even if I failed, I used to have a million excuses ready just for that, and I failed a lot; none could break me out of my delusion though, maybe because I was young and failure wasn’t as big a deal. I also used to dream a lot, not something specific like being a Astronaut or a Scientist, but dreams that kept on fluctuating. I had tons of friends too, remember having a different best friend each year. I wasn’t a popular kid or anything, but my classmates thought I was funny, and school was pretty neat.
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But now, I’m approaching 19 in a few weeks; an anti social loser with no skills or friends, no goals for future, bad relationship with parents, all my relatives think I’m worthless, and people I used to like no longer talk to me. After completing +2 a few months ago, I was planning to go abroad. That is no longer an option now, so I’m wondering what to study in bachelors, I have no clue what jobs, skills I want, or what pursuing a certain course will give me. Time’s up though, I have to do decide within 2 days.
It might look like I’m out of that phase, but the only thing that has changed is; I’ve gotten more self aware and a little less naive, but the core of my childhood delusion is still here, and to be honest, I’m confused as whether to fuel it or slowly destroy it. This might even just be a cycle, and I might return as that same arrogant piece of shit soon. It’s scary, my past memories, dreams which I thought we so pure and grand were just there to fuck me up in the end.
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I think I lost track there, but the thing I want to say is that life is ruthless, you don’t need anyone else, you’ll slowly destroy yourself without even knowing it. We humans have always tried to find silver linings in every bad things or situations, and if I’ve learned anything from my life, it’s that lots of people are just fucked, this world’s not for them, and there’s no way to shape them enough to fit in. For losers like me and everything that’s on the losing side, hope is nothing but a curse.
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if being anti social with no friends counts as being a loser, sign me in. And I’m 7 years older than you.
Don’t choose a particular field in bachelors just because you don’t want to lose a year. You do so and you’ll be losing at least the next 4 years. That is accounting you’re disciplined or else you might even lose 8 years just trying to get that trophy (yeah, that degree for me right now is a trophy I’m running after and nothing else) like in the case of mine.
And I wanna say, I have been in your phase, almost exactly at your age or when I was 20, may be. I remember a video I watched a long time ago and the guy said, “The most unhappy people on this planet are extremely ambitions lazy people. These are the people that could do something significant, but they don’t want to do the work.”
And the solution ? Jordan Peterson says, “Aim as low as you can handle. And progress from there. That will take you somewhere you were never before.”
Good to see you are thinking and evaluating yourself. These are signs of people who can be winners! One does not need to go outside to do well in life. You will surely find something worthwhile!
Bro you’re literally just 19
Hares nakhau
don’t fuel that delusion . what if you feel what you’re feeling now after years .
19!! Bro 19!!
Your symptoms match with the cons side of high flyers people. You are also showing the signs of imposter syndrome.
The good thing is that you are exploring things, people, and more importantly, yourself.
Just give a few more years, and then the things will start falling into the places. Dont get anxious just because things aren’t going as you expect.
Also, you should try to understand :
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥ २-४७
Stay positive. Stay proactive.
Stay in the moment, and control what you can.
You are indeed a loser.
you’re at the first step of reaching your potential, evaluating your life. aba think about what you can improve and create a sort of rules to abide by that will make your life better. ofc neither one of us is perfect, we’re bound to fail, tara excuses banaauni haina, accountable huni ani think about the reasons why you failed and how you can avoid it.
we’re all failing bro, all we can do is analyze what we’re doing that’s causing us to fail and not do it. this is what will separate us from the masses. goodluck with leveling up in life 🤝
You are not a loser bro and don’t be sorry now,
Be better.
Naatiu bro ma ni testai thiye.9/10 ma huda tyo charm liyera hidthe.Sir haru le bolerai manche pauutacha vanera tarif garthe, communication skill kya top notch thyo,padhai ma ni ramro thiye.Aahile euta naya manche sita bolna ni dar laucha.Tyo pahila vako communication skill nai harayo aahile.Bistarai thik hudai cha timro pani hunch.samaya lai samaya deu bro.
24 and same.