I need some ideas. ➤ Nep123.com

I need some ideas.

I am a 29 year old guy living in Kathmandu. To get right to the point, three years back, in November 2020, I attempted meditation at home, Vipassana Meditation. The first day went fine but on the second day I went too deep, I planned to sit for an hour but came out of it after around 4 hours. Something went terribly wrong in my system I guess, but I went mad on the next day after it. The madness lasted for two hours in total. I was back to normal after that, but the very next day I was admitted to a mental rehabilitation centre. I spent 3 and half months there. Everything was fine for the first three months, I made plenty of friends in there, my mental and physical faculties were also fine. But, right at the beginning of the fourth month, I woke up one night with no feelings, no thoughts, a blank mind, no inner monologue, an inability to remember whatever has happened few seconds ago and plenty of other problems. I do not know exactly what is responsible for this but I do suspect that the meds caused it, perhaps the side-effect of them. I was given various meds in the rehab centre , they diagnosed me with psychosis and schizophrenia. That being said, I have never hallucinated in my life, never seen or heard things but well, well, thats another story entirely. I was on psychiatric medication for 15 months. I have been sitting at home for 3 years in total waiting for myself to heal but well the healing has not come. I have been to couple of psychiatrists and a neurologist too, taken the meds that they gave, but nothing changed.

Right now I have
– no feelings
– blank mind
– inability think about anything properly,inability to grasp concepts, inability to plan things out( basically known as cognitive impairment in psych terms)
– inability to properly remember anything that happened few seconds back ( basically worse than Aamir Khan in Ghajini)
– inability to talk properly due to the lack of inner monologue.
– inability to visualize things properly

That being said, I have excellent physical health and I am fit physically.

My question is, what work can someone like me be able to do? My family is middle-class, my father has a business, but he is old now, 63, I do have a brother too who is 19. I would like to try out other treatments now, mainly ayurvedic treatments, but I’m broke af now because I have not worked for past 3 years. Its not that my family cannot afford it, but I’m tired of depending on them. Before this incident, I was doing BSC CSIT, which I left because I cannot do any of that now due to my condition. I used to tutor too. I don’t really have any intellectual ability left anymore and I cannot communicate properly either. I want to work now but I have got no idea what to do.

Help me out with some suggestions. Thank you very much.

If you have some simple jobs/work which I might be able to do as much as my condition permits, please let me know.

Thank you very much.

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