I am a 20 years old girl living in a rented room with my bharkhar SEE diyeara aako Bhai .
Before he came, I used to live alone in peace, doing my things. I was happy and peaceful. EK choti Khana banayera 2 choti Lai hunthiyo, kahilay bahira gayera kei khayera aauda ne hunthiyo, navayea simple easy J banayera khada ne hunthiyo.
Is it okay, if mailay mero 16 years ko bhailai ek patak Khana banauny ani dishes garnay responsibility dida. I feel like I’m wasting losts of time in these household chores. Ani room ne messy bhako feel hunxa so, once a day Alik ramrai clean Nagari malai Chitta bujhdaina, Kasto messy feel hunxa. Ani paani bharnay yeta uta room KO kaam…mummy le garnay jasto sabb kaam garnu parxa. Time yettikai bitxa.
Ani apthyaro bhayo bahnera bhanna ne sakdina, because gharbata tesari 2 tira rakhera afford garna saknu hunna
Ani Bhai ne phone ra laptop ma Matra hunxa. Ani ma control ne garna sakdina, mailay bhaneko kei mandaina. Ani these ma aafai ne Atti messed up bhako xu, so kei bhandai aafu ta yesto xu..K jasto feel hunxa.
I’m failing internal exams. I’m just procastinating assignment and everything, exam aairaxa kei gareko ne xaina. Kei garna ne mann lagdaina. Sleep schedule atti mess bhako xa. Tyai bhayera bihan KO class kahilay whole day ne skip hardinxu College..ma pahila kahilay class xodna Mann nalagnay manxe. Exam aaisakyo padhna ne Mann lagdaina.
Literally, kei padheko xaina.
Private space ne navayea jasto hunxa. Idk, I’m feel like I’m worst sister, I’m selfish. Aafnai bhaisanga ne milera basna nasaknay.
K, kasari Garda thik Hola mailay.
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bhai lai sappai kaam garauda pani hunchha
milera garda pani hunchha
ek arka lai space dina, adjust garna ta siknai parchha
Omg you sound like my sister. She literally used to say the same things. I also came to ktm after finishing my SEE. That time my sister was in Bachelors first year. I knew nothing about household chores so my sister used to all things. She used to scold me a lot and I was so lazy. My sister also went through the same pain. Now I am living alone and realize how difficult it is to do chores as well as focos on studies. Just make your brother realize the efforts it takes to manage all things living as a tenant. I hope he will understand. I am 21M living alone atm.
Tell him to give a hand and do his shot. Just becuase you are old and Girl doesn’t mean you have to do everything.
Make that little cunt do some chores too. He can’t be resting his arse off whole day
First thing, you’re not being selfish. You’re just looking for your private space. Believe me I have been there.
He is here in Kathmandu for the same reason you’re. Aa-aafno future banauna. Timro future usko bhanda kam yaa badhi important vanne haina.
Ma Pani rent Mai basne ho with my other friends and nothing works better than a routine. Make him learn cooking.
Bhai serious kura garna chha vaner bolaau Ani sappai kura gara. Uslai timlai esto gaaro vaachha vaner nabujheko ni huna sakchha. Timro study kasari hamper vairaa chha vana. Man ma laako sap vana. Ani euta routine banau, something like bihana ko laagi bhai responsible Ra belka ko laagi timi, ki ta khaana Ra daal bhaile Ra Tarkari timle. Something estai estai.
Timle bhanya jastai, maanirako chhaina vane , call your parents ani sangai raakher kura gara. Parents Lai study bigrirako kura gara.
Ani maybe milchha vane, kitchen Ra room chhuttai vako khoja. Alik help hola.
At the end , timi aafno ni routine banau , daily chores ra study duitai ko laagi. Study hours chai eti dekhi eti vaner chuttyau. Ani strict vayer padha.
It’s all about management.
Room, kaam sabai divide gara. Like room ko eti part tero eti mero vana ani bhai ko wala part wasta nagara. Like jati fohor vaye pani safa nagardeu. Aafu lai control gara, kei gari tesko part chunna vanera. Kaam pani divide gara. Tara like total bhada majhni tesko, total pakauni aafno haina ki pakauni ni yo yo pakauni mero yo yo garni bhai ko. Bhada majhni ni ‘karai, plate bhai ko, pressure cooker, rice cooker mero’ type. If bhai le karai majhena vane bholi palta tarkari napakau. Kina? karai safa thena ni ta.
Ani youtube a ‘one pot dishes’, 15 minute meals type ko kura haru hera, pakauni, khani bhada majhni lai maximum 1 hour vanda badi nadeu. Maile euta easy kura sikeko vaneko rice cooker ma chicken ma masala molera rakhni ani chamal, pani rakhni. Masla, pani duitai normal vanda alli kum ani easy rice cooker biryani. Aaile ta ma ghar ma chu, tara ghar ma pani baba mumy hunuhunna vane 100 rupees ko chicken lyayo alli sano sano piece garera ani bihana beluka rice cooker biryani.
Sajilo gari banni khaja haru, jastai garlic bread (ghyu ma lasun, salt ani cha vane cheese), pasta, ani normal rara noodles ma thorai timmur ko chop rakhni, esto esto type ko kura haru hera.
Jasari huncha aafno life kasari sajilo huncha tyo ways haru khoja. Aaba bhai jasai timi sanga basni ho vane jhagda garnu vanda aru kei ways khoja. Like mero bhai ekdum irritating cha, tara ma roidiyo vane sabai kaam garcha, kei vannai pardaina. Emotional blackmail gara lol. Fight garnu vanda, risaunu vanda alli adult type ko behave gardeu. Like bhai yo kaam tero responsibility ho hai vana 2 3 times ani ignore.
Bhai le napade ni timi pada. 1 week napadhla, 3 weeks napadhla, tespachi aafu lai aaftyaro lagcha ani aafai padhna bascha timi padhna basesi.
Best of luck!!!
Sisss, are you me from another dimension? I’m literally in the same condition. I don’t get how brothers can be so useless. Mero vai ni last year tesari nai aako thyo, like yours, he doesn’t listen to me either. Sano kuramai jharkine farkine hunxa, so I stopped asking at one point. Talked to parents, no use, mom says “Xora manxeharu yestai ho”. Dad blames me instead. Bro doesn’t take bath on time, doesn’t wash clothes, no nothing, I was sick of it. I still am tara I kinda learnt how to ignore his behaiours, time time ma frustration hunxa tara aba ahile kamaune samaune navai kehi garna mildaina…
I’ll advise you to talk to your parents, hopefully they are more supportive than mine.
And if you ever feel like venting, feel free to chat with me kasam. I’d always wanna vent tara didn’t really find ppl. And if I talked to a friend, they’d be like “afuvanda sano control garnu ni”, like they legit don’t understand how much of a toll it takes on us.
“16 barsa bacchai ta ho ni” my ass, ma ni teti barsa katerai aako ho, alik dimag ma ghusnu parxa ni, yo bau aamale kanxo bacchaharulai dher maya diyera ki kina ho thaha vayena tara they should learn to be considerate. Arule yetro gardeko xa vanera bujhna parxa ni. They should want to repay the kindness. Tara aajkal ko bacchaharu yestai negligent hunxa khai k vako. Especially keta manxe vanera, kam chahi hami ketiharulai matra lagaune, keta manxe aish garne.
Yo society kai system khattam ho k. Crap sorry I just vented afnai kahani, but sis I totally get youuu
Also, you should not feel bad about it. You’re doing everything you can. I’m proud of you for even keeping up with him.
Stay strong!(voli rakshya bandhan yaar, I’m so not looking forward to it)
I have seen 7-8 year olds help with household chores, so for a guy who is 16 he can pretty much do everything around the house.
Ask him to help you. Give him tasks. May be divide the chores. But remember, communication is key! So, COMMUNICATE!
Bhai ra aafu milera work lai divide garda thik hunxa natra day to day basis ma kaam xutauda ni thik hola
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i don’t think you can do anything ….. he is your brother ….
just have a conversation …tara pani 16 years ko ho i don’t think kai bujxa …just give it some time …
if it was me …ma ta sidai gali garthe ….idk vai ho mero teti ta hak xa …..kai vayena vane sidai vanne ni yuslai
” Is it okay, if mailay mero 16 years ko bhailai ek patak Khana banauny ani dishes garnay responsibility dida. ” aaile pani kam sikena vane kaile sikne ni ……..yusko lagi vayeni kam lagau …..i think
She is a keeper guys Xd
Bhai lai kaam sikauna parcha. 16 years ko teenager le aafai le dekhera household chores ko responsibility lidaina. Hamro ma jhan keta harule ghar ko kaam kahilei garnai pareko hunna ani tei bhayera ni uniharule yesto kaam haru dekhdaina.
Maybe he hasn’t done any household chores so you should teach him. Like tarkari banau bhannu bhanda aafaile sangai basera sikaune. Or room safa garr bhannu sato first room safa garda fohor kata falne? Room ko saman haru kaha kasari milayera rakhne bhanera dekhaune.
One tip I learned, while asking them to do something give some time frame. Like aile nai room safa garr bhanera gali garnu bhanda aaja yeti bela samma room safa garnu hai bhanne.
Suru ma like hapta ko certain day uslai room ko kaam garaune. Ani you guys can split task. Timi sanga basna payera po bhai lai sukha bhayeko, eklai or aru sathi haru sanga baseko bhaye usle yo sab kaam aafaile garna parthyo.
I think it’s also important for him to learn these things. Future ma uslai aafai lai dherai sajilo huncha.
Hello, Sister I have a small brother who recently gave his +2 exam and failed in 3 subjects. My situation was exactly like yours the difference is just that I attended class no matter. Just tell your brother that your parents have spent their hard earned money on you both and you both have to do something in life to give back your parents a good life in their old age and parents lai inform gara call gara ani vandeu k vairaxa vanera ani teti garda ni manena vane chodideu. Afai dukha pauxa bhai le ani tha hunxa. You can just study at a different place like balcony or terrace. Clear air sanga sanga koi aru pani hundaina. Class chai miss nagara. Mero experience ma class ma attention diyeko var ma just pass ta sure vako xu. Ani class ma friends haru sanga discuss garda halka assignments ra study garam garam lagxa. I don’t know if you feel like it but halka competitive feel aauxa sab le gari sako ma eklai le gareko xaina vanne hunxa ani garna suru hunxa. Mero bhai le ahile dukha paira xa. Jahile mobile ma matra herne garthyo. Sleep earlier at night and stop sleeping at day. Start chai gara. Basirakhyo vane baseko basai hunxa. Procrastination le malai ni dherai satauxa. Mah chai euta duita work suru garxu bich bich ma break linxu. But tyo suru gareko euta or duita work chai jasari pani sidayera chodxu.
I fell ronaldo
arey yar situation ansar adapt huna paryo ni, tei mathi 16 barsa vnya sano umer haina, sab kam garna lagau
i was the same. But now i help my sister with everything i can. Ask small help from your brother on your daily chores and communicate w him about your current feelings.
You are not being selfish. Just talk to him ramrari, gali na garera. Make him see how much you are doing and ask him to hell and participate. Baru ask him what responsibilities he is willing to take.
There is no need to mother a 16 yo.
I don’t think you’re not selfish at all. Just feel like u need some time to adapt.
You sit down with him, tell him that you too are studying and he too is studying. It is important for both of you to study. Study is important that is why both of you left home and came to kathmandu. Both of you need to study. Agree on this first.
So list the things that need to be done and say that both need to do these chores. Divide the tasks! Each will do his own laundry, no matter what. Divide cooking responsibilities, purchases, preparation of food, washing dishes and cleaning the room.
Long ago, we rented an apartment and all siblings studied in Kathmandu. We all divided chores, and even I as the brother had to cook and wash dishes. My sister and brother would study while I cooked! So go ahead and have a talk with your brother.
Instead of typing this here. You can communicate this with your brother. I used to be like this. It will be weird at the beginning but learn to sit down with him and explain how you feel and what your expectations are. Treat him like a person.
If you can plan for combined study for a few days at your friends for the exam. Teach him how to cook and do basic things. So in your absence he will either cook for himself, or go out and eat. In either case he will realize how difficult it is to do these work.
Ekali basney bani bhaya pachi ta disturbance maan pardaina. But it is what it is. I’ll say welcome to adulthood?
im also a 20yo living alone. maile timro situation ma kei bhanna ta sakdina tara can you tell me what you used to cook when you were alone that was fast and easy?
फेरि व्यग्र चिन्ताले मर्ने भए केटाहरु !
I kinda feel blessed to have my sister who took care me from childhood .She did so much for me than my parents did .And never complained .People back then were built differently .I know even i myself can’t do things that she did for me .So i guess time and situation changes the mindset of people .Regarding your situation I doubt your brother will listen to you but you can try to have him cultivate a habit .Start from miniscule things .But dont get hopes high .We all know how we were in 16years old .Since you are used to living alone it might be hard to adapt .Believe me both of you will definitely adapt naturally.
I live with my Budo mamali ko Xora ! Kasam! At first I had the same issue! Then I confidentially separated our cooking and dishes schedule. Morning was mine and his at Night ! Ahiley we are living strong! Most importantly we keep ourself busy jasley garda everytime sangai hudainam.
Delegate task(start small and increase gradually nobody likes change and if you ask him to do big tasks at once he/she may resist so start with small tasks use commanding and firm tone) you are managing the household so use authority,be firm on your words like if you don’t do this you won’t get food at the end of the day after doing chores day-in and out hopefully he will learn that you are just another human being like him and maybe he would help hopefully!And use parents too call them and tell them about your study situation(nepali parents study vanexi conscious hune garxan) like sab degrade vaeraxa vana and tell them if he doesn’t start doing his own chores you will only cook and work for yourself sangai basexi partnership at chores is bare minimum, they may call you selfish and whatnot but his single action is degrading his and your own future at once NO you are not selfish for being concerned about your own future Goodluck!
well, its about time you teach your brother some lessons on personal responsibility because sooner or later he is gonna have to learn, and if he has to do it on his own, its going to be a hell of a time for him. How often do you get that chance ? I believe he is at mature enough age to learn what responsibility is. As angry as he becomes, as disrespectful as he might be, you’re elder sister, slap him, kick him if it comes to that.
>Private space ne navayea jasto hunxa. Idk, I’m feel like I’m worst sister, I’m selfish. Aafnai bhaisanga ne milera basna nasaknay.
There is no need to feel guilty just because you’re the elder sister. And if he tries to get your parents involved to favour him, politely tell them that if he is going to live with you, he is going to do so on your terms.
You’re the elder. Instill some discipline to that young fella.
went through something similar.
its not selfish. youre just not used to handling these situations. its a whole another thing to live with someone. especially as an adult.
16 y/o guy should take care of himself, I was earning 20k+ by that age. Men Nowadays are just not where they should be
There needs to be a clear definition of boundaries and responsibilities. If he wants to stay in the apartment he has to do his side of things, be it laundry or cooking or cleaning. What ever household chores it is, discuss and split between equally because as of now he is nothing but a ignorant ass and a parasite, you are basically taking care of a grown ass teenager. If he has the mentality that girls should do everything even in this day and age tell him to go and farm just like old people used to.
Without this you will just physically and mentally stress yourself out and just ruin your own life. If needed talk to parents and escalate.
Kick that ungrateful cunt out. Trust me you will be doing HIM a favor. He needs to be independent to learn the harsh realities of life, not expect everything to be handed down.
And here I was where my older sister got to sleep till 8am while I woke up 6 in the morning got milk from dairy and made tea for the whole house. Guess different families have different systems.
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