I disrespected my father

I disrespected my father

I’m a 18 y/o rude guy. I don’t try to be but that’s what I end up being. So, today also, I showed my stupidity. The thing is that, today my father’s friend(he’s like a best friend, very close to my dad and very helpful and humble to us) was here with his SUV to park it. He had road construction going on in front of his house and that led him to not be able to take his car to his home and my dad and my dad’s friend had decided to take it to our home instead. And, where they wanted to park was our puppy’s kennel. Now, they decided to move our pup’s home to the other end of the garden, it’s all bushy in there. And, I disagreed with him and didn’t want to let him move it’s kennel (I thought the plants could cause allergy to it and snakes are pretty common in our garden so I was afraid one would enter it’s kennel) but as he didn’t even consider listening to it and moved the kennel and unwillingly I helped him to do so. I didn’t speak a word to his friend or him but It was quite obvious by my expression I was angry as I made a grumpy face and made a very angry face but still helped him with things. And I looked at no one’s face. My face was facing the ground all the time. Now, what happened by my behaviour is, his friend left our house without letting my dad know when he was moving things from place so that he could park the car. And I noticed him going but didn’t realize he was going to his own house. He was probably hurt by my behaviour and My dad and his friend had decided to leave to his home together earlier but he left alone. And after seeing that, my dad got hurt too. He told me what I had done. I wasn’t trying to be rude to his friend but I unintentionally did. I was just mad of not being heard by my father. Then, in the evening, when we were at the dinner table, my dad told me I had done wrong and I shouldn’t have behaved like that, to which I completely agree. But even after admitting my mistake, he is blaming himself and saying “It’s my fault I couldn’t make you well-behaved. It’s all my fault. I’m the guilty one. I made a huge fool out of myself today.” And that thing is really making me regret what I had done. I tried confessing to him that I had done wrong and would never ever repeat the behaviour but he still wouldn’t listen and seems very hurt and I can’t get over that. Now, I know I’m a failure as a person and I constantly fail as a son and That thing haunts me. What do I do to overcome these regrets? I have enough to take care of and this also added up today. I feel really guilty. I shouldn’t have disrespected him and his friend. (If it’s looking like i’m trying to paint myself as the victim in the above passage I wrote, I’m not. I am the guilty one.)


View on r/Nepal by isthattrulyINchoate