Bujne xora

Bujne xora

It’s not an ‘I hold a grudge against my parents’ type of post.

Since, the age of 8-9 I have always helped out my family with business (shop). School bata aayo pasal, byanai hatar hatar ma uthyo pasal gayo. Bachha belamai rin xa rin tirnu parxa vanera mindset basyo, kei kura maagnai milena “Xoro bujni xa” vanera syanai ma sticker taalidiye. Pasal ma ni basey, sakesamma ramro marks pani lyaye, nata khelna jana paiyo, nata katai ghumnai. Pinjada ko suga jhai vaye ma.

Mobile ra aafno yeuta room paunai +2 samma kurey. Management nai linxu ali purano computer thyo tesbatai kei skill develop garxu vanda “gharmai na bas science nalini vaye” vaney. Nachahey pani sathi ra mero paristhiti compare garihalxu ani aat garera ba lai bike kindinuna maile aaile samma kei maagekai xaina vaney, “Aba ta aafai kamayera chala” “Eh, Huss ba” ta niklyo tara farkesi aasu nai rokiyena.

I used to cry alone in the dark, but now it feels numb when others discard me and my needs. I’m tired now, I just want to run away and give up all the responsibility but I’m a coward and a ‘bujne xora’.

Ki ta dhani ki garib, bicho ko le ta bhusya kukur jhai dukha paudo raixa.

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25 thoughts on “Bujne xora

  1. Manxe alikati selfish chahi hunai pardo rahexa. Yeta uta kharcha garna hoina, tara ho kurale mero future better hunxa bhane man marera bhaneni, jhagada garera bhane ni magna parxa.

  2. Because you never asked anything from them, they don’t understand your needs. Now the only thing you can do is either keep your fingers crossed and move on with your current life or try something different and get out of the life you have.

  3. we are born in nepali society jaha socheko jasto hunna same as u ma pani pasal mai basne kahi najane bas byabar banyo belka ghar aayo colz ani again pasal yehi routine repeat huntiyo , my dad had money and still mero sathi haru le bike gadi chadera colz aauda i feel like mero pani dady le kindunu bayeko bhaye my dad used to ride old kawasaki bike ,colz aauda pani tei bike leraunu huntiyo laz lagtiyo not my dad couldn’t afford and his friends would also say “katti yehi batbhate ma hideko dai gadi kinuss” but still he would not listen to anyone I thought my dad was “ kanjus,lobi” and i was always angry with him because of this .. But he would tell me its useless thing ,he would always remind me that purchase some real assets rather than then buying something to show off to others and buy what is needed . He would pay my high college bills without hesitation never said a word about it i did all my studies in expensive colleges but always disagree for buying bike.. i told my dad i had joined some work and i needed a bike (duke 350) instead after a months he bought me discover bike. I was totally mad at him any way i was forced to accept it(what could i do tempo chadnu bhanda baru discover chadnu bess bhanera lol) and i did went to my friends house to stay for days didn’t received my mom & dad calls for a day so that they would buy me my dream bike anyway one my uncle knew my number and called from unknown and told me to return home ,he came and picked me up and later he reminded of how my dad thinks of all family and everything. This uncle (actually my dad’s friend) told me all about my dad struggles and all even he(uncle) had faced similar problems like me when he was in his childhood. I returned to my home at that night my mom dad was so sad and upset i didnt speak a word and after that incident my mom told me i was so immature and after that day i scolded my dad why he had bought me discover and without any word he gave me 7 lakh at my hand and didn’t spoke a word. I told my friends that i was soon going to buy bike and every one gave their suggestions to buy bike i was so much happy but still deep down i was disappointed by myself for the mess i did. I realized that they had took all these steps for my future so that i would know what was right or wrong. All i wanted bike was to show off my crush and take her to long date. I told my cousin brother about this he told me i was so dumb and immature and rather told me “if u needed to go for date and ask her out you could have asked for my bike instead , are u making her love u or your bike idiot?…“ . I realized how stupid and idiot i was . And yes i purposed her and she said no lol. And with all my heavy heart i realized about how stupid things i did for all these nonsense things.

    And at that year I started doing some useful things and i joined a company as my brother recommended (intern) and yes i am from business background family i purchased some stocks with all that money beginning of 2019 and after covid my net worth skyrocketed and now yes i still laugh about those old things , i am happy with my dad decision he made and so is my dad with me and now i have different perspectives in compared to when i was 18 19 yrs old. Now i am 25 and i am happy about my future what i did for myself my some friends were shocked about how i did . I can buy my self Tesla or toyota prado but i still wont buy as i am planning to buy entry level suv in coming months. But anyway the plan i did was for my future and i still remember my dad disagreeing for buying bike i laugh at myself now I still remember what he tells me “remember where you came from , be a down to earth person ” .
    Take steps what you need sayad timro dad le pani sabai ko lagi socheko holan . Don’t let yourself down esto kura ma when u grow up you realize your family struggles to make your future better I hope you understand.

  4. I think you still have to clear +2, first give a focus your on that, get good grades and in the mean time learn computer on your own purano vaye ni chalxa dont start from high tech kuraz they easily test your patience, just learn how to install different OS , learn about HTML and web building, heck you can even master Microsoft Suite and get a job. Only after you can control your own finance you can finally grasp your freedom. I am too Janni Bujhne Jetho Chora, never asked anything except a phone after completion of my +2 . That too was paid by a loan. Being a middle class ko bujhne chora is heartbreaking, while your own sibling is too ghamandi to not care. You worry about what will be the condition of your family if you too were dhamandi as your sibling. My advice is get good results in +2, try for US just give SAT while studying in Bachelor of your interest (here in Nepal), if you got good grades + high SAT score you need not to worry as many universities in US gives a good scholarship, just do your Visa interview well and you are good to go.

  5. I can relate to you bro .My story is bit different. i was only raised by my mother only. Father had abandoned us so i had to look after shop in morning and evening .No time for travel and this and that. Later , our shop couldn’t compete with other shops and mother started taking loans with high interest rate .Then we fell in vicious circle of loan .The land that we got from maternal side had to be sold in order to pay loan . Right now i am working hard and built home and it took so many years to make home and now relatives have pressurize me to marry .
    My friends are also marrying and i am having FOMO and as well as there is dire need to marry as mom is alone . I am in total confusion . No fame , money , stable job. Sometimes i feel like just renunciate everything but on the other side it will be just called escapism . And as well it hard to find a girl who understand such complex situations.

  6. Brother, aba blame garna chodideu. I know it hurts tara aba teslai nai motivation banayera aafu lai develop gara. Be independent. Aru ma depend garera kaile mentally free huna sakidaina.

  7. Gyani xora, Jiddi xori !
    J vanyo tei navai nahune mori !
    “DD lai kei navan anta jane manxe ho”,
    ” Paxi sabai terai lagi ta ho”

    Jidd mai firin pardesh tira,
    thapi lakhau ko rin ani tauko ma pira
    “Jabo teti tiri halxu ta ma” bhanera udin furu furu
    Ani vayo gyani xora ko tanab ko din suru

    Bideshu thaau ani thari thari chitra,
    Yeta rin ko byaj ki hisab bichitra
    ” Kei navan dd lai teha garo hola”
    ” Sapati khoj xora katai koi sanga ta hola!”

    Sawa ko byaj ani byaj ko syaj,
    “DD rin” ” hya nagara lang”
    khadi ko visa, man sunya jane
    “Aba xoro le vo samasya lane”

    Kahani ajhai xa. Used to be gyani xora few years back. Time will heal you.

  8. Bro wtf you are 18+ work your ass off get a job save some money get your bike.if not get a bicycle first . I don’t know what’s wrong this this 2000s kid you don’t want to work for yourself but happily give their ass to get fucked by anyone else

  9. No hate Hana I come from the same background but maile ni aajai samma kei mage xaina help Garni Kura tw sake samma garxu. But remember to ask yourself a question.

    Why do you need a bike ?
    Is it a necessity or pride may be show off.

    And do your family question you when you ask for essentials ? Like clothes education?

    How will your needs impact your future.
    It is very essential then fight for it make them understand.

    The main reason middle class family saves is for the future, and for their child. At least mero case mah tei ho.
    You should not forget their struggle. Talking about my story, my father used to sell food in thela, cycle and owned a shop (kirana), then a small hotel and now a big hotel which is ongoing. The thing is he sometimes tries to save a lot but most of the times he does what is right. And I have not demanded anything yet that I don’t truly need.

    It is almost every other middle class family boy’s story who owns a family business. No offence though.

    Ask yourself is it the thing that you truly need?

    Hope I made my view clear

  10. No hate Hana I come from the same background but maile ni aajai samma kei mage xaina help Garni Kura tw sake samma garxu. But remember to ask yourself a question.

    Why do you need a bike ?
    Is it a necessity or pride may be show off.

    And do your family question you when you ask for essentials ? Like clothes education?

    How will your needs impact your future.
    It is very essential then fight for it make them understand.

    The main reason middle class family saves is for the future, and for their child. At least mero case mah tei ho.
    You should not forget their struggle. Talking about my story, my father used to sell food in thela, cycle and owned a shop (kirana), then a small hotel and now a big hotel which is ongoing. The thing is he sometimes tries to save a lot but most of the times he does what is right. And I have not demanded anything yet that I don’t truly need.

    It is almost every other middle class family boy’s story who owns a family business. No offence though.

    Ask yourself is it the thing that you truly need?

    Hope I made my view clear.

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