Why are Asian parents so guilt tripping ?

Why are Asian parents so guilt tripping ?

Everytime that i try to object to something, my mom always starts ranting and yapping about how much she’s done for me and I can’t even return something that miniscule to her. Wtf. Dashain audaixa, mom ra dad both jhapa Jane vandei hunuhunxa but I don’t want to go simply because the 14 hour journey from here to jhapa is too tiring for me my body and I’m prone to get sick during long rides. Also during that time I’m thinking of using it to learn guitar. I’m 20, I can take care of myself at home and I can cook basic dishes too.

We have a dog and I’ll be able to take care of my dog too so no one has to worry about the dog . Tara my mom goes, Tero ama bau sanga matra ta talai hinnu maan lagdeina Ni, sathi haru vaye agi bag pack garisakthiyes. I’ve gone to jhapa every fucking year with my mom and dad. EVERY FUCKING YEAR, just this once I want to stay at home and enjoy by myself. It’s not like this is my first time staying alone either, I’ve stayed at home all alone in the past for days when both my parents couldn’t be home.

But now my mom goes talking shit about all she’s done for me and I don’t even do miniscule things for her? Shit like this makes me think I should have applied for abroad after my +2 so I didn’t have to deal with this on a daily basis smdh.

Even rn she’s talking shit and raising her voice talking to dad making sure I’m hearing what she’s talking about. She goes like, katai janu pardeina, ama bau ko Maya ta xaina teslai, paxi gayera Budi lyapaxi hamro ta yaad Ni audeina teslai blah blah blah blah.

I’m so sick and tired of this. This ain’t the first time. Does this happen only in my family or is every Asian household the same ? Smh.


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43 thoughts on “Why are Asian parents so guilt tripping ?

  1. मैले एउटा दशैंमा टिका लाउँदेन भनेर नलगाई बसेको थिए, सबै पहुने आए गए, मेरो मम्मी मेरो कारणले भित्र आउँदै रुँदै बाहिर गएर फेरि अरु संग टिका लाउँदै गर्नु थियो। सबैले मलाई सोड्ने खोज्ने। मैले सोच्थे, किन रुनु पर्यो होला, मैले लाउदेन भनेसी लाउँदेन्। आज त्यो दिन सम्जिदा एकदम दुःख लाग्छ। त्यति रमाइलो दिन, मैले मेरो घमण्डले गर्दा नरमाइलो गराइदिए। दशैं को दिन रुने बनाइदिए। यो कुरा ले मलाई सधैं पोल्छ। तर पछिका दशैं मा मैले त्यस्तो गरेन,मलाई अरु भेट्न मन नपरे नी बाहिर गएर टिका लाउँथे। बिस्तारै दशैंको पुरै जिम्मेवारी मेरो टाउको मा आयो र बुझे कति tension हुन्छ सबै कुरा मिलाउदा दशैं को दिन।

  2. It’s dashain. Afno pariwar sanga manaune festival. Most of the people get excited for long journey during this festival. She may be sad + angry since you don’t want to go.

  3. >Shit like this makes me think I should have applied for abroad after my +2 so I didn’t have to deal with this on a daily basis smdh.

    And who is going to pay for your expense ? Ya right, them.

  4. I get where you are coming from. At your age, I used to feel like this whenever my parents used to guilt-trip me into these things. But now I am older, I take these things lightly. I even joke with my mom and dad when they start something like this. Parents normally want to stay with their children in festivals like this. Our Parents grew up in a different environment than us. Dashain used to be a much more enjoyable festival than today’s youth makes it feel like. And trust me when I say this they enjoy this festival much more with you than without you. So try to understand her point of view too. I am sure she would understand if you two sat down and talked through it. Best of luck bro.

  5. What is with this idiotic stereotyping and generalizing of different people as “NEPALI Parents” and “ASIAN Parents”?

    Mero bau , mero ama le yesto garyo bhannu ni.

    NEPALI PARENTS… ASIAN PARENTS …

  6. bro bidesh aayera 7th year ho ghar na farkeko. cherish the moment and stop complaining. they are your parents. halka bujhdaina tara timle bujhnu parcha. you also have a fair point. try talking to them properly. if they don’t agree, go with them. you have your whole life to learn guitar.

  7. Come on man!
    Being with children makes parents happy, evenmore during the festive season.
    It wont make you any lesser of anything if you compromise a lil bit for your parents.
    Come on its your moral responsibility too.
    We cant obey everything parents say but man this is way too small thing to do for them if it makes them happy.

  8. Bro, after reading the story, I would simply suggest you to stop overthinking. This happens in every Nepalese family, and this is way normal. First thing, whatever your age is, your parents will always worry about leaving you home alone. I am 26, and my mom still does it for me. And you know what pal, this is a privilege, and not a burden. Imagine, there are so many folks out there who wished they got someone to tell them to go to the village during Dashain, and there are so many who can’t go despite having a wish to.

    So, you wanted to sit back because you have wish to learn Guitar. Okay, that’s great, but remember pal, Dashain comes once a year, and your guitar lessons can wait. Who knows, you mightn’t get to see someone the next year even though you wished to. Believe me brother, 3 to 4 years down the line, your life’s going to take such a shit turn that you won’t be given a chance to celebrate Dashain as you’re getting now. So, enjoy your festive to the fullest when you have a chance. It’s much, much better than having to lament later.

    I don’t remember the year, but that year when my cousins and I, we were all there playing cards, enjoying the moment should have been the best ever Dashain in my life. Now, I can’t get those similar moments even if I wished, because most of them are abroad, and with Grandma gone, not all family goes to Village on Dashain. Btw, best of luck on your Guitar Learning Journey.

  9. `But now my mom goes talking shit about all she’s done for me and I don’t even do miniscule things for her? Shit like this makes me think I should have applied for abroad after my +2 so I didn’t have to deal with this on a daily basis smdh.`

    What the actual fuck did I just read??? Of course parents tend to get emotional, but tyo kura lai “Talking Shit” vanera ta vannu vayena yaar.. Dashain ko bela ma jhan ghar janu, sabai family sanga vetnu kaha ultai aama le yesto guilt trip garyo… You need to get your ass whooped

  10. Aba kei years ma timi bahira janchau hola and then you will know the importance of dashain. I get what you mean but its dahsain bro. Afnai thau jana ni k ko tension. Avominekhaera jau ani ramailo garera aau. you can buy guitar and can try to learn it from Jhapa.

  11. because they have no justification for making you do things you don’t want to do. ask them for a plane ticket for you and see their reaction. it will cost probably 3-4k more than bus but they will probably lose their shit.

  12. Dear Op,
    After reading the comments you might have realised why are parents are so guilt tripping. Even the people from today’s generation are trying to guilt trip you in the comments, of course the parents of old generation will guilt trip you. Ignore them.

    I am a firm believer of children not being OBLIGATED to take care of their parents or do things for them just cause they gave birth, raised and provided their children. However, a parent is obligated to do things for their kid cause they brought them to this world. If children are taking care of their parents and doing stuffs for them then that should be out of gratitude and love, not obligation.

    Many people in the comments have said that Op is an adult but dependent on his parents so he should obey his parents. This is Nepal we are talking about and here most people stay with their parents even in adulthood and after marriage if you are a boy. This is Not some western country’s so stop telling Op to be independent and move away if Op wants freedom.
    Op being an adult and dependent is not his fault, and his parents should have seen this coming before they even decided to have him cause that’s the norm and they should support him. If you can’t support your child’s need then why have children? If you can’t provide them with education or what they need to make their life comfortable, why have children?

    So, Op, you are not obligated to do what your parents say. You are a conscious being of your own and can make your own decision.

    However, this particular situation relates to Dashain so I would ask you to reconsider, specially if you have old grandparents. I haven’t celebrated dashain with my family since five years now and I really miss it. I would be lying if I say I haven’t shed a tear during festivals living abroad. So just for this reason, I would like you to reconsider and celebrate all the festivals with your loved ones to the fullest cause maybe one day you might be living on those memories only.

  13. Wow Kids these days are really soft huh. This is what you count as guilt tripping? Literally what she says is what my mom used to say to me as well when I didn’t want to go to mamaghar. I would just take it lightly and even tease her back saying I will take my wife wherever she would want to go after I get married. Are you looking for some internet points? Is that it?

  14. I understand. Sabai ko family gathering ramailo hudaina. Aafno relatives ani family sanga sab le ramailo garna sakdaina.
    Yaha ta i can’t even spend my own paisa on my own. Dashain tihar ma i have to to my relatives’ which i don’t enjoy even alikati but have to Go cause there is no other choice. This time i want to trekking tara tyo paudina i know already.
    Nepali parents they guilt trip all the time. Kei bolyo garyo vaney mukh mukhai lagyo vanera vanchan
    Kei bolena vaney ekkalkatey vayo vanchan.

    Timi Kukur ra guitar lera jau jhapa. Tei sika sab lai ignore garera.

  15. Hahaha this comment section is really regarded. It’s like they have no concept of personal space and consent. 🤪”Well my mom said this me tooo and nothing wrong with it. It’s not guilt tripping 🤓”. Op just wants to stay at home, take care of the dog and explore their hobbies during holiday. Nothing wrong with that. You shouldn’t be forced into things you don’t want to do 🤷‍♂️. Op don’t listen to these stupid comments and stay strong on your ground. Fuck the trip and enjoy your holiday.

  16. You don’t wanna go, don’t go. You are not a kid. Man nalagya kura gardina bhanna paincha. Aile sano kura ma guilty feel garauchan, it will only get worse. Unarlai ta ‘no’ bhannei nahune jasto. Stand your ground.

  17. It’s not happening in your house only , mero ghar ma harek barsa hunxa and lastly I have to go with them , even during teej malai jana man thiyena but malai janai paryo , i ta now simply give up and go with them ghumna jane ho ghumera basxu arko point pani we don’t have to be a dick about everything,spending time with family during festival chai thikai jasto lagxa , your mom might be sad and hurt about how you don’t wanna be with them ni ta ani guilt tripping ta it’s very common in asian households,look at from your parents perspective as well .

  18. So many fucking boomers here. OP, don’t give in. You are an adult now, not a child. Fuck whoever says otherwise. You can’t make anyone enjoy family time or dashain by forcing them, fucking boomer ass mentality.

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