Everyone has their own choices, and for me, I’ve never desired to get married. I prefer not to shoulder additional responsibilities and accountabilities beyond caring for my parents. Contemplating life after marriage, the thought of the responsibilities and duties associated with children and a spouse overwhelms me.
Therefore, I entertain the idea of staying unmarried and relishing single life until my last breath. To preempt potential challenges in old age, I plan to accumulate a substantial savings in stocks.
My inspiration largely stems from Western culture, which is gaining popularity for embracing unmarried lifestyles and maximizing personal enjoyment.
How many of you are here with similar thinking like of mine? Please put your views forward.
To address any doubts regarding my sexual orientation, I want to clarify that I am a straight male, not LGBTQ.
However, my concern lies in potential resistance from conservative and traditional Nepalese families. Exploring this possibility raises apprehensions about societal expectations and familial norms.
Related:
i’ve already talked to my parents about it and they said they’re okay with it.
Same here, For me who is 23 and still single, had no relationship in the past, I have also thought not to get married. The reason is similar like him, I also want to relish my single life till later and also I don’t wanna stay committed to a relationship for which I don’t wanna hurt my partner’s sentiment by getting married by compulsion.I believe in love marriage but since I have not found a person till now, I don’t think I’ll find a companion later with whom i’ll be comfortable for the rest of my life. Well I am not against the concept of arranged marriage also but I personally don’t find it convincing.
Now I don’t think that i will find the love of my life and I don’t wanna do arrange marriage. Rather i’ll adopt children, take care of my parents, and travel to different parts of the world.
as a woman of marrying age, i feel you. i don’t have immediate plans of going abroad anytime soon either so i know I’ll have to get married eventually. makes me feel very anxious
Times are changing in Nepal. Its not the same as before. More and more people are having to live a single life, not because of western culture influence but because of all the youth leaving the country. It is eroding the social fabric of our country very rapidly. There was a recent news that approx. 8% of women are single in Nepal( Divored, saperated,never married post the age of 35) up form 1% 10 years ago. I would imagine the numbers are similar for men as well.
If you decided to stay single for the rest of your life. You’ll fit right in with other nepalese. In 20 years time a lot of nepalis will be single and thats just gonna be the way of life. The only difference is your decision will be out of choice where as others situation will be a forced one. Even today if you look around you’ll find many married couples are separated because one of the spouses is abroad to earn a living. Single life is just gonna be more and more accepted as time goes by.
i too believe that marriage is nothing but a social construct, and would want to stay away from it. i feel like i’m way too of a selfish person to take care of somebody else’s family on top of mine. growing up, all the chores my mom taught me, she taught me because who would want a dil who cannot do basic household work? i’ve consistently turned a deaf ear to them, thinking that when I fly off to another country for further studies, i’ll simply never return.But they keep on suggesting that i go not alone but with a husband.
my fear and reluctance to consider marriage stem from the responsibilities that a married woman faces. leaving her home where she grew up all her life, with no guarantee that her husband’s family will treat her well. transitioning from being pampered in your own home to suddenly shouldering the responsibility of maintaining the sanctity of someone else’s house, as well as the responsibility of not coming between the person i’d be spending the rest of my life with and his family— and we’re not just talking about the immediate family, but the whole branch of families. this feels like a huge huge task, and i’m simply not up for it. i’ll never be up for it. i’ve always thought that i’m odd for not wanting this. if i get to be a freebie, live life on my own terms, whyever shall i subject myself to the potential responsibilities, sacrifices and burden?
so yes, op, you have an anon’s full support on this. anyone who wants to, should opt for this!
36, M and going strong! 😄 But I m not against being in a relationship, in fact i m in one and our views align.
I have same thoughts as yours but we are human and we have human nature jealous but not jealous.(i mean paxi aafno Sathi, cousin, siblings and all ko family dekhda regret hunxa jasto lagxa). It’s like aafno Sathi fail huda ni dukha lagxa top garda ni dukha lagxa.
Going out of social norm is always met with resistance. I’m a 26 year old careerless male, I’m trying to break into tech but my efforts aren’t yielding any results at least for right now.
I’ve given up on marriage because I know it not going to happen in my case. I haven’t had any relationships or sex (including the paid meaningless ones). After my SLC in 2069 BS, I can count on my 10 fingers, the numbers of girls that I didn’t knew before that I’ve talked to, including the two fresh MBBS graduate that had to question me to prepare their final year case study of some sort and a nurse while I was in the hospital for surgery. And no, it wasn’t vasectomy, all right. I’m telling you, introversion doesn’t help if you’re a guy.
That’s my nature. I don’t have any friends that I talk to. I never went looking, nobody came asking. I don’t have any social media account except for this.
The thought of getting married and having children, did used to bring a little joy and excitement and was with the assurance that it will definitely happen at some point, even if I won’t be able to find one myself, my parents would find one for me. A little later got in touch with my own nature and face the reality of it. That was bloody painful. Now, the thought of not getting married, is not as much scary or painful. It may not bring a smile on my face, but at least it doesn’t hurt.
Whenever I feel like talking to someone, I go talkwithstranger.com website, pour my heart out to a stranger leaving out my personal details. So, that’s it.
age please, before I comment in your views.
Haha I am the opposite I wanted to get married at 19 and have 2 babies by 25. But realised it late so will get married and have kids soon in late twenties aile. I am a guy and I personally love babies. Financially alik thik vayo vane we will have 4 kids.
That’s my plan too but how to convince parents. My only dream is to live a monk’s life somewhere in the world. It all started when I first read ” The monk who sold his ferarri” and the idea of marrying infront of so many people scares the shit out of me.
Me. I feel exactly the same as you. But I don’t think its rooted in some western philosophy. I just don’t want to burden anyone. I don’t think I will be a good companion. I have told my parents that I am never getting married and they have come to terms with it. I also have seen many older people, who never got Married and live on their own, earn on their own and are happy on their own.
Same man, I said this to my mom once. She said testo hudaina blah blah, but I am sure my father will agree with it and so will my mom when the time comes.
My plan is to live my life to the fullest and not to worry about “chorachori lai angsa” and all. I earn, I spend, I die.
same, Though I am female and 21 by my age , i really get exhausted just thinking about marrying ,adjusting to a new person(family in most cases here in Nepal) , having kids and constantly worrying about them. I don’t think I would be able to handle all that , internet tells me I am going to be awfully alone when I am going to be old , and maybe I will who knows. I’ve realized I would contemplate my decision whichever path I would take , and decided to not dedicate my life to anyone else just in the hope of not being alone .
As an NRN whose lived in the US for some time. I see cultures/nations in 4 different distinct categories:
Good Individualistic Countries: Basically non-existent today, but Ireland/Norway/Iceland/Scandanavia/Japan in the early 2000s. Places where individualism is respected, but some form of cultural glue still exists to keep the population culturally united.
Bad Individualistic Countries: The Anglos (UK, US, CAN, AUS, NZ). These nations are individualistic, but in a suicidal way, with large segments of their population not even understanding what the concept of family even entails.
Good Collectivist Cultures: Spain, Turkey (upper class moderate muslims only), Portugal, Croatia, etc…Best quadrant to be in. Collectivist ethos, but things that should be kept individualistic, like marriage choices, are kept individualistic.
Bad Collectivist Cultures: Most of the third world, India, and where Nepal is. The shittiest quadrant, where nothing good about individualism nor collectivism is present, with only the bad factors of both making an appearance.
Nepal seems to be going from Bad Collectivist to Bad individualistic. Importing an ‘Anglo’ style approach to freedom, as opposed to a Latin style approach, is going to blow the societal fabric of this country to pieces.
When it comes to marriage, if done right, its the single most amazing experience a human being can have. Unfortunately, to do it right, one almost needs characteristics (mannerisms, connections, personality, wealth) that are more of a byproduct of heritage and inheritance, than anything else, in one’s total control. This is how royal/business/powerful dynasties of all shapes keep their influence and power through generations, its also why regular people tend to fail at the same time.
In the context of Nepal, both with NRNs and Nepal based nepalis, I’m seeing a huge uptick in unmarried/single 30+ men and women. They try to slap a smile on their faces, but one can see the deep sadness and discontent in them, beneath their eyes.
I’m glad I have a great partner. I’d never choose that alone, miserly life. It doesn’t work for anyone. If your options are to not marry vs to pick badly, then your fucked both ways.
I am 20 yr and i am singal since birth , looks like i should follow you
after a time need someone is what i have been fed through movies, don’t know if its true. My perspective is will get married in around 38-39, till then i can give back a lot of memories to my parents.
​
also i already resonated when you talked about your parents, it would be so fair. She took care of me since I was born and i would till her last breath. I wish she never expired, mom.
>My inspiration largely stems from Western culture, which is gaining popularity for embracing unmarried lifestyles and maximizing personal enjoyment
Gosh! Where in the world are we heading?
I had similar thoughts and they were quite strong before I hit that 30yo mark. I am still unmarried and carry the thought of staying single for a foreseeable future but now that stance is getting weaker by the month- jumping from one relationship to another feels tideous. And I cant seem to remain content without someone by my side.
Now i realise it is biological to want a steady partner, and a kid . I am starting to get a daughter fever quite a lot.
I am starting to look for a probable wife. Now that I have seen and been with quite a few type of women, I have very hard time trusting the next partner that comes along. Now that feeling of compromise for settlement is very prominent because my image of ideal partner is the consolidation of many individual women and their best qualities.
I have lot more to say but,In a nutshell, get settled before 30, after 25.
Ahile ta parent ko care garchau ani timi buda huda kalle timro care garcha ta
[deleted]
same here bro, i want to adopt dogs like 3 of them and a cat, get a job where i can work from home and just live out the rest of my life.
To address any doubts regarding my sexual orientation, I want to clarify that I am a LGBTQ and I dont wanna marry but I am a single SON 
I on other hand wanna get married. Have a companion for life and share the best of our life together and handle our both’s hardship together. Love one another until my last breath.
> To address any doubts regarding my sexual orientation, I want to clarify that I am a straight male, not LGBTQ.
Nepali ho testo naramro tarika le vanihalxan ni
People say the individualistic society is selfish. Here we have such a collective society and yet we are selfish in a micro level. Sole purpose of Nepali parents are not to contribute to breed, but have kids as their retirement security. They force a child to come to the world, brainwash them from the very begining to obey in any extent and not question them. Then they manipulate and lure the sons with the property they have in exchange with aspirations of being taken care of till death. I am not saying it is bad, because it has many good sides for the society and family values as well but trying to give my perspective on how Nepali parents are also not as selfless and naive as our society claims.
22 raiheychau bro.
Change hola future mah.
Sure single life is awesome and all.
But when u find someone u love everything changes.
Plus having someone to enjoy moments together with:watching movies,playing games,travelling etc.
But also in bad times that is lit.
Yeah having said that dont forget to gauge the perception of those one who likes to get marriage and have children and make your decision process more easier.
Same on this side bro.
Do u have any siblings? If ur siblings are married idts ur parents will care too much. I have 2 kakas (alhto ones an alcoholic) and one mama who are all unmarried and pushing 50 . They all seem pretty happy in life, and their parents dont care too much either since they have grandkids from their other children.