Life is full of temporary people.

Idk where to start. I am a 20M about to be 21 never ever had real friends. People come they use me take my everything win my trust what not and boom they leave. Just giving a example of my neighbour/friend she is my only friend I had. We share a fabulous bonding. She look good together. Everything is platonic from both sides. She is just one month elder exactly one month. And what happens she left the country yesterday and I came to know all this today. No farewell no handshake with a friend who is with you for almost 21 years? Is that the worth of life.

Another friend just texts me when they need moral support and when I text them I came to know my number isn’t even saved and they are like who are you. 9 years of friendship is that the worth.

During the times of assignment I noted I was in call with 26 people in a single day and they all were asking my advice. But after the submission no one cares. Even when I need blood for urgent matters as someone was in hospital bed. No reply. Really that’s the friendship.

I know one thing I am not a good friend or they don’t know how to keep friends. I surely have no friends they are just people whom I know.

I try to help may people I can. I even help strangers and feel empayfor everyone everything. Why I don’t know why do I feel like shit everyday. I try to do my job someone won’t let me. I try to study some one got urgent issue. I want to go abroad my family needs me.

When will my time come seriously. Yuck my life is filled with misery and hell no I won’t give up. I just want to fight but I think I lost my sword. I have no energy left. No fort is left to fight for. Just anger.

I know this is not my best self but seriously I am unable to find way.

Edit: I let my girl break up with me for her studies 2 years ago and now she is in the US.

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