As I don’t have any sisters in my immediate family, I haven’t felt the same charm in the festival of lights since childhood. I enjoy late nights, roaming, Deusi-Bhailos, and dancing. Although I have cousin sisters, I put tika on them, but I never find any real bonding or attachment; it could be my fault or theirs.
We barely catch up, maybe twice a year. Messaging and staying in touch on social media are distant alternatives. Later, I realized a significant difference in their behavior toward me compared to their own brothers. So, I decided to stop celebrating with them. Every Tihar, I choose to spend my time outside my home. It’s not worth maintaining a relationship that only carries formalities without any genuine bonding or emotions.
If you have a similar experience, feel free to share it here.
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Dont worry almost everyone’s sibling is apart thanks to bidesh jane trend. And Tihar for everyone is not the same anymore.
Single child here…….mero tihar ta laxmi puja kai din sakincha. But i did enjoy going to mamaghar with my mom, as a photographer/videographer 😁
I don’t have my “blood-sister”, but I do have cousin-sisters: around 5 IG. Unfortunately, family disputes have made us quite apart. Haven’t celebrated Bhai Tika properly for approx five years, and I am only 17 :L . Class 10 samma ta kaile Fupu haru, kaile mamaghar, kaile 1-2 cousin bata tika hunthyo, but after coming to Kathmandu for +2, tyo ni harayo. Haven’t celebrated Dashain and Tihar for 3 years now because going to my hometown is not an option: thanks to financial instability (too much kharcha for going, staying, and returning), family disputes, and most cousins flying foreign. Dahain and Tihar have quite literally become like “Sanibar with mandatory Nuhauna” for me — it feels like a normal weekend. So, I feel you, bro. It feels lonely — and jealous sometimes — seeing friends having fun, whereas me decaying in this small Bhada-ko room in the “capital of Nepal.”
Never felt this sudden urge to give someone random the love of a sister. I really hope someday you might find someone (not necessarily blood related) and get to experience how it feels to have a loving sister by your side.
Hope you don’t have to feel the same emptiness next year.
Hami tw dd baini lagauxau 😅 can relate though
Formalities ko bond kina hai manne
Happy bhai tika though 😇
Mero ni didi hunu huntheiyo aafno haina tara close relative, last year bidesh janu bho, aaba yo pali kasto na ramailo lagiraxa
OP please learn from my mistakes
Go meet your cousin. Tika samma simit bhaye ni, please do it.
Yup they just put Tika as a formality that’s why tihar has never been exciting to me and my brother.
Happy Bhaitika brother❤️🫶
Keep in touch with them, you’ll never have a bond in later years if you don’t make that effort now.
Bhaitika is just one day out of the 5 days of Swonti (Tihar). As a single child, for me, Tihar has always been about the lights and selroti. As a Newar, it has also been about the feast on Mha Puja. Bhaitika is optional. If someone wants to, I put Tika on them otherwise it is the day to relax before holiday ends and work begins again.
Same feeling.. been on the same spot. Tried my best to make cousin happy then she made me realize, im not her brother. I still remember the 5 hrs flight each way to celebrate bhai tika. My tihar ends on maha puja.
My wish is have a daughter and a son as a kid. That way they can enjoy bhaitika.
Fortunately I have my younger sister in Nepal but not sure for how long. She might go abroad next year. Then it will be sad. I’m just enjoying this Tihar every possible bit.
I too don’t have my own sister but many first cousins (sisters). All my brothers and male cousins are abroad, so it’s just me with several cousin sisters celebrating bhai tika.
Happy bhaitika ❤️ I have my own brother but he is in abroad, Tihar doesn’t feel the same without him 😔
Wednesday.
For someone without cousins or sisters, tihar feels just like a normal weekend. Kahile aayera gayo nai chal paudina.
I would love to roam and play deusi bhailo man , be grateful 😭
I don’t have any sisters. Sano ma dukha lagthyo tara ahile yestai rahecha sansar vanne jasto lagxa
sending you bro fist.
Another perspective of me, I don’t have any brothers. When I was young I used to put tika on my cousin. As long as I remember, we put tika on him but he left Nepal for USA. For few years, I put tika on my other cousin(kaka ko xora) but didn’t wanted to after few years. Then I completely stopped celebrating bhai tika for almost 8-9 years. It was just laxmi puja. Now I reconnected with the same cousin jaslai mah sano huda tika lagaidinthay. He has kids and is a grown man here in the usa, so I flew to his place and is celebrating bhai tika with him and his family today. So, it might be worth reconnecting with your cousins. May be over the phone or something.
Don’t feel anything
Why don’t you put Tika from those cousins with whom you bond better. I do the same and I enjoy a lot, though I don’t have my own sister.
tihar for someone without a brother is same as well. You help your mom make Bhai masala, mala for her brothers. And when the ceremony is going on, you are only a cameraman.Not only do I feel bored, I also feel bad.
I have no sister of my own, but have cousin sisters. They also don’t have any brothers of their own. So, our parents thought we should celebrate it together. We did that for a long time when we were very young.
The problem there was that we never had a relationship of siblings to back up the formalities. Just celebrating tihar together never felt right.
So this one year, I told them that I was going for a trek and I wont be able to put on tika. They got the hint. Stopped inviting me altogether (like I wanted).
10 years later I had developed a good strong relationship with one of the cousins. We have a strong bond. Last year, she asked me if she can put tika and I accepted immediately.
So I have understood that when you and you are committed to any relationship on your own as opposed to someone else deciding for you, the relationships are better.
I have two daughters now and I dont have a son. But I will never force my girls to put bhai tika on someone else. They currently celebrate bhai tika by putting tika on each other.
The day they are able to make a decision on their own, and if they find someone who they think are worthy of it, they will put tika on them, till then they are sufficient for each other.
Masu bhat,coke and elden ring or any game is how my past few years ko tihar has been going on😅
I dont have my sister too. But i do put on tika with my fupu dd. I dont have that much attachment thing with the tika and sister. But vaitika is always exciting for us. I think my fupu understood in an early age that just tika for me would not be exciting so she uses a trick. Every year she puts a different kind of chocolate (the big ones) in vaimasala. And with that simple thing she becomes successful in making me deliberately wait for the surprise.
But beside tika tihar is the only thing that feels like a festival to me. Its a blessing that we celebrate tihar in gau. Sab jana dd vai haru jamma vako hunxan guff garyo hasyo khelyo its feels good. Paila paila room mai lukera basthe ani bistarai happiness is a choice realize vayo.
I would give a suggestion that dont think for yourself only. There will be people in your family who would love your presence. Let them have a good time sochera jau things will certainly change.