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Suggestions to stop marriage conversation

I am about to complete my bachelors (age 23f)and my relatives from both mother and father sides are always like aba ta bihe garna parcha ..i dont know that to say ,everything from their mouth is about marriage …actually my mother is 11 years younger then my dad ,she always agrees whatever he says …i want to go abroad but dad says bihe garera janu ,i dont want to marry now .can anyone suggest what can i do to stop this marriage thing?



r/Nepal by AwareImprovement4135

23 Comments
  1. difrpodcast says

    Let me be rational with this and explain to you what choices you have. You have 2. Either get married or do your own thing. Since you absolutely don’t want to get married, which is also the right decision from my pov.
    So, now you are having trouble explaining to your parents, why it’s better for your future.
    The worst they could do to you is kick you out. If that is the case, be ready to move out. If you are going to reply to this with “Soche jatiko sajilo chaina move out garna”, with experience I can tell you, you won’t make it abroad.
    If you think you can have an independent life abroad, get a job, any job, start your independence from here onwards. The only tether your parents have to force you to marry is a roof over your head and 3 times meal. If you have financial independence, they lose the leverage.
    Currently, your next step before you approach them is to get a job. Be financially independent and then have the talk. That way, even if you have to move out, you can do it on your own.
    You can go abroad anytime if you are independent here. It gets easier abroad if you are used to it here. “Female lai garo huncha, male jasto hunna” if this logic comes to your head and my advice sounds unattainable, that’s the same logic your parents are using to marry you off. If you are capable to not marry and be independent, ahow it by getting a job.
    The only way to prove them wrong is by doing it and becoming independent.

  2. nomad_in_a_quest says

    Once boomer harko mind is made up then it’s hard to convince otherwise. My brother’s friend who just started his bachelors was called in a urgency from home and was surprised that he was getting engaged. Not even making this up. Lol.

  3. Bubbly_Princess_ says

    I can totally relate sister. I am 21 still doing my bachelors and they have already started with bachelors sidine bitikai bihe gar dinu parcha. I want to do my masters and then work for a few years before I get married. I have told them this and I told them to not bring up the topic of marriage until the day I finish my masters. Now, everytime anybody brings the topic up. I just standup and leave the room. It seems to be working for me.

  4. boldclaimthat says

    Tell them about your plans in detail. Let them know that you don’t want marriage to interfere in your plans and that you haven’t found anyone yet.

    They’re unlikely to change their mind overnight. So you can try using their own trick on them – being adamant and repetitive.

  5. [deleted] says

    Just be very picky. You can always find flaws and reasons not to date. I remember questioning a girl saying aren’t you too young to marry, I got a call from the father saying I was corrupting his daughter.

  6. khoya171 says

    When I wasn’t ready to get married and if anyone brought up the topic of marriage I would say “if you are thinking so much about marriage why don’t u get married again”. TBH i think it was easy for me coz i am a guy.

  7. miracle_weaver says

    Tell them you’re gay.

  8. [deleted] says

    tell them you’ll marry after masters or something. Education is my excuse to everything.lol

  9. S-Moriarty says

    I always make an excuse of “let me earn for a decent living first so that i can take care of my wife too in the future”, or whenever these type of conversation pops up, i head straight outside not to be seen for a few hours.

  10. ActiveTeam says

    I’m 25m and my parents can’t stop talking about my marriage. I usually entertain them but just keep on enforcing that I’m not gonna get married for at least the next two years (and that is if I find somebody I like rn). Like no way I’m marrying anyone without dating them for a couple years at least. It’s easier for me to ignore my parents because I’ve been financially independent since I was like 20 and I don’t live with them. I’d say don’t antagonize them but keep on reinforcing your POV every time they bring it up. And start prepping for going abroad if that’s what you want (with or without your parents’ blessings). Not a lot they can do when you’re 2000 miles away living your life yk.

  11. [deleted] says

    [deleted]

  12. q-rka says

    It is hard decision to take when your supporting ones are forcing you against your will. My parents were also forcing my sister for marriage about a yeat ago and me, as a brother convienced them that age(below 35) has nothing to do with happy married life. I have seen many of cousins getting married by 20 and giving birth by 22 and I did not want to see my sisters ruin their life by someone else’s plan and assumption about happy life. Now marriage comes only from personal side not the family.

    First thing you should do is be humble and honest with your parents. They supported you throughout your career and they have never stopped dreaming about your future. Once you become a parent, you will realize the pressure. Our tradition is that, if a girl marriages a educated, wealthy guy who is more than 5 yrs older than her life wil be settled. Make your parents believe that why your decision to not marray will make your future bright. I always hated when people treat women as dependent and their mindset is that you have to marry a great guy to be great. Just walk the other way around. Share your career goals, future plans to your parents, tell them how hard will you work to make them proud of you. Convience them that parents should be proud of their children’s own legacy but not with someone else’s name. I hope your this trouble will be fixed soon.

  13. ashim1412 says

    Get really angry

  14. ujyalo-bhavana says

    Hurry up with the abroad studies application.. fast before they find a person, you find a good university with great scholarship. Stressing on Great Scholarship. I know my friends did the same.

    I am sorry about this, it is annoying and maddening.

  15. Deepakach says

    Be strong and talk to your parents, if you are forced and get married remember that you might be forced in your in laws house as well. You might not be allowed to pursue what you want later, so this is the time to stand up and state what you clearly want in your life.

  16. xubhaa says

    Paila ma afu independent huna chahanchu ani matra bya garchu chori lai aile nai Ghar bata bhagauna maan bhaye baru ma bhindai baschu bhandeu na, ani family le bya kaile garne bhanda chai best answer malai hune kta nepal ma bhetla ta khojdai garnu ma ni herchu kasto kta chai khojda raicha malai hajur le bhanne.

  17. maoumi says

    I feel you, sis. It’s hard to stop marriage conversations once you’ve reached mid 20s. I have been stalling saying I have to complete my masters but it’s such a weak excuse. If you’re able to try for higher studies abroad, please do so.

  18. [deleted] says

    [deleted]

  19. actualprashanna says

    Stop marriage conversation at your home by dating me and introducing me to your family

  20. Ill_Self_2030 says

    Further studies going abroad might be safe option among others

  21. Electronic_Water4182 says

    M gay.

  22. A0rs says

    Pursue a full time career, then maybe the marriage talk will slow down for a while. It worked for some people i know.

  23. Flaky_Stage5653 says

    Tmlai paxi pauna chai garhai hunxa hai. Due to increasing age.

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