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Need some help to sort out my life.

Hello guys, I frequently see people asking for counsel so I thought I might do the same. I’m almost 22 and I’m very lonely. I’m currently studying engineering and stay in hostel. My problem is most days of the week I’m sad and I’m constantly overthinking things. I’m most of the time surrounded by people but I feel I cant really connect with them most of the time. Most guys near me play physical games, video game or have girlfriends but I feel have nothing to enjoy to. I spend most of my time reading (fiction, nonfiction, textbooks) and other than that its social media or going to college. You could say I have a very empty life. I’m also very insecure of my looks. I’m below average in how I look and its been bothering me so much. I mean I constantly check my face in front camera as if I’ll look better next time. I’m an introvert so I cant really do that much of small talk. There’s also this girl that I really like since late 2019 but I couldn’t talk that much with her and she probably doesnt like me either(considering how I look) and the problem is I cant get her off my thoughts. I tried to forget about her during the lockdown but now whenever I see her all those feelings come back to me and I know I can do nothing about it. Sometimes I really hate my predicament and I hate that I have to be through all these things. I know its my life and I have to get through these things, but man sometimes I cant help it and start crying alone in my room. Talking about my education, I’ve above average marks and I’m a good enough programmer but I’ve not been able to do anything with it. I’m currently in my 3rd year so I’m thinking of becoming a ML researcher but sometimes I’m really confused. I see people around me making connections, doing internships but I’ve not been able to do any of that. I hate the fact that I’m this unsocial but I cant do anything about it. Sometimes I feel its something wrong with my biochemistry that makes me this sad and low. Kei suggestions xa malai..?



r/Nepal by Chemical_Coat753

15 Comments
  1. alladin316 says

    Okay, is everyone here an engineer?

  2. nomad_in_a_quest says

    I used think this way 4 years back. I also had major social anxiety. Also I think I am hideous lol. The thing is looks are important for first impression only. You got to have a charming personality, kind, humours, non judgemental, fun to around with. Naramro vaye ni khai manche le mann paraune Rachan. You need to stop giving fuck about how you look that’s the key. But the key is don’t. Don’t try to impress. Don’t try to be cool. Be comfortable with who you are.

    Edit: r/socialskills This might be helpful to you

  3. Cynical_Bhooth says

    Someone should just create a group chat for all the lonely people here. There’s plenty of people here who are going through the same shit as op here.

  4. LightInVacuum says

    [https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/rdbdqb/prove_that_simple_things_is_enough_to_make_a_man/](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/rdbdqb/prove_that_simple_things_is_enough_to_make_a_man/)

    See those dudes? They’re having fun with just chappals bro. Learn to extract pleasure from small stupid things and on top of that you have your passion of reading. Maybe add a couple more to your inventory and sooner or later you’ll have a circle of friends with similar interests, if that’s not happening already, make an effort to find similar ppl.

    And I know you will be fixed once you have a gf, if not that same girl, someone else. And trust me there’s no such thing as “soul mates”, you have to work on the relationship and if you think you’re average looking, work on your humor and manliness. Girls don’t care much about looks unless you look like danny devito maybe, and even he found his “soulmate”. Try not to give so much value to that “self” in you, self is a made up construct and you can change your identity to whatever you want with practice.

    I used to be a lonely 22 year old with no friends, let alone gf. I met my now wife when i was 25 and we’ve been together for 15 years now. Stay tuned for good things to happen in life, for now, keep focusing on two things: Studies and an improved identity that is more confident and humorous. Nobody wants to be around a guy who doesn’t love himself. Watch plenty of porn and take care of yourself more.

  5. Altruistic_Project63 says

    I was also same kind of guy till class 10 . Before joining college I decided that I would make lots of friends and ya talk to lots of girls too. At first it was hard because being an introvert it’s not easy to convert yourself. But I started to catch up slowly and at 12 I had lots of friends and good connections with boys and girls of other classes too.🙂 But still when it comes to talking with the far relation relatives I’m still a nerd. 😅 Trying to solve that too and hope I could do it .

  6. Fit-Rush-5016 says

    Bro yes looks are important
    But its only the first impression

    You see,
    Looks gets you on their eyes
    But your character/personality gets you on their heart

    Have an amazing personality
    And the right person will come to you.

    Be confident too
    4 din ko jindagi ma tension linu hunna 😉

  7. lionsatemydinner says

    So you are feeling lonely and helpless. You are craving for some sort of connection and you haven’t been able to get it. All I can tell you is, to wait. To be brave right now and wait. When you find that connection even though everything won’t make sense, things will feel worthwhile, whether for a brief moment or for longer time. Now isn’t the time to lament. Find something you like doing and do it. Make mistakes now, because older you get your mistakes will be heavier. You don’t have time to be sad, lonely and hopeless. Make mistakes, do what you want, learn from your mistakes and mistakes of others. Live now. So you can live later.

  8. sukisookee says

    I understand what you’re going through, in order to sort yourself out you have to help yourself and build yourself from the ground up.

    1) It sounds like you might have anxiety or depression: talk to a professional and see if you can get diagnosed and get medication to help you.

    2) See if you can make friends or join societies where you can bond and talk about your hobbies: if you can enjoy them with other people, you’ll feel happier and more comfortable about yourself.

    3) Build good routines so you don’t spiral: take multivitamins, take walks outside as often as you can, stretch daily, get a skincare routine and groom yourself often. These will also help you feel better about yourself and your looks. (confidence and good skin looks good on everybody.) I won’t say ‘lose weight’ or ‘build muscles’ right now because your low mood could twist that and end up hurting you. Daily stretches and walks will help you feel better about your body and looks to start.

  9. ranjankhadka012 says

    Sleep at 9-10 at night and wake up at 5 and go for a walk .
    Might not help with your social life ,but works great for boosting mood for the day .

  10. ilovemasubhat says

    Yo mate Stop Being a Fucking Pussy

    Go out There Try To Pick Up a Girl And Fail

    But Don’t give Up Eventually You’ll Have enough confidence to attract Someone Ani About the I’m So Sad And Depressed That’s Fucking Bullshit

    That’s Just your State Of Mind Rn Eat Healthy, try to run a mile Everywhere This Will Boost Your Testosterone.

    And The Major Point Stop Fucking Complaining Yar Your just 22 , Your here In Nepal The Land of Opportunity and Start Fucking Appreciating Life You Lonely Ass Cunt.

  11. Dull_Demand_4341 says

    DM me if you ever want a friend or just want to talk about things in general.

  12. Fancy_Palpitation808 says

    If you like someone shoot your shot.
    If your are an engineering students visit your cafes around colleges plenty students hang around there.. go sit introduce and enjoy their company rather than sitting alone. Also there are manu clubs like robotics.. join and learn the craft

  13. Fit-Rush-5016 says

    Engineering kun university ma garira ho pani bhanana bro

  14. Fit-Rush-5016 says

    Kun college bro?

  15. hellyeeaahh says

    Delete all your social media accounts and stop comparing yourself to others.

    Stop looking down to your mobile and start looking up to the people around you.

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